I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize