This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Boobs speak an international language.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
