I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
