found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize