are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
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Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
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I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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