so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
