If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize