Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize