She is in my trunk
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
