I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize