Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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