I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
