I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
