The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
