yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
