Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
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Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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