i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I have post one night stand depression
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
