I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
