My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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