There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
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The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
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I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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