singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
they're like a gay fantastic four
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
whose parrot is this?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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