We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
