i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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