Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
