She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
