from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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