remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
