I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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