Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I didn't notice because vodka
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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