Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
