he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
