why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
