I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Randomize
