I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
