She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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