the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
