@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
