we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
