I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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