Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Do you remember whose house we're in?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
