I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
