It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
