I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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