This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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