I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
