rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
