I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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