My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize