your room smells of hookers.
And success
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
