Welp...herpes.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
