ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
