I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I am mentally ready for anal.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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