if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
She needs sedatives and a leash
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
