I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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