Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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