No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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