your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
