OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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