it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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