I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
