barbara walters just said penis...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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